I am a night time novelist. The day time is reserved for homeschooling my children, playgroup, field trips, sports, family time, and my nemesis 'housework'. I love the night time, the ideas that have sat on the back burner all day finally finding release. The only downside, until recently, has been my lack of space.
The dining room table has been doubling as my writing desk for the last year. It also does the work of eating area, craft area, school area, science center, oh-this-paint-is-so-gloppy-it-will-take-3-days-to-dry-area...and the list goes on. By the time I'd get to claim it as my own, it's covered in the day's work. I took to stowing my speakers (made by my awesome husband who got tired of hearing my character playlists playing on the crappy laptop speakers) and writing lamp nearby, just itching to take their spot on the table each night. Until one night, when they sat on my unmopped floor. And then a second night they were neglected. And then a third. By night time, I was too exhausted to set up office and write. At least, that's what I told myself.
Well, that excuse can be used no more!! I have found a place to carve out as my own, all I needed was some creativity in how I viewed my home. Hence forth, my office...what used to just be a storage closet underneath the stairs. I lovingly call it my Harry Potter office and am thrilled to have this little space all.for.me. I bought the furniture, minus the tree stump table that I scored from the park, from a friend's estate sale. I dipped in to my cover art fund, but decided it was worth it. I love it, to put it simply. My little space, where worlds are made.
From the time I decided to go ahead and sit down and write until now, I've discovered that the Disney song is quite accurate. It is indeed a small world after all. The community of authors and all of those who support us are hiding in the everyday ordinariness. Almost like fairies, if you believe, they will come. Or so I have come to think of the magical world that surrounds me every day, here in no where Georgia.
The first conference I went to for authors and fans, UtopYA, opened my eyes to that world and made me realize that people that surround me everyday often have secret lives...lives that they wish could be full time, but are often part time due to these horrid things called bills. So many part-time writers, editors, artists and musicians have been added to my world since I really started looking with fresh eyes.
I have learned that a local librarian, an elementary teacher, a police officer and several moms admit that they aspire to be authors. Some are further along in the process than others, some writing and some ready to publish, but they all have one thing in common - they aren't letting what they have to do (aka get a steady paycheck or care for children) get in the way of their passion.
I was stunned when I found out that the mom in Girl Scouts has a friend who publishes poetry, and the friend who joins me at the playground is working towards being an editor, the police officer is really talented with photoshop and created a book cover that is freaking amazing, not to mention he has made a music soundtrack for his coming novel, and the music producer husband of another friend is now making book trailers with original songs. We're everywhere, hiding behind our other titles.
As UtopYA creator Janet Wallace put it at the conference,"If you have a story in you, write it." No matter our varying titles that get us through the day, parent, teacher, manager, whatever, there is something about seizing the opportunity to do what you have a passion for. I hope that one day I can fill my days with writing instead of just my nights, but until that day arrives, I'll just keep on keepin on. There is no time like the present to just DO, even if it is for just little chunks at a time in between my other titles....
Yesterday was writing day. I know because I deemed it so. After the most horrific migraine attack yet, one that wound up in an ER trip for dehydration after 3 days of pain and vomiting, I felt incredibly off course and behind schedule. My remedy, to write the night away. And I did.
Two hours and thousands of words later, I realized that while the words were flowing, they weren't the right ones. They moved my story practically nowhere, and at a snails pace at that, and just didn't feel right. It was more like I was living in a moment that had maybe happened, but ultimately doesn't need to be included. In that realization, I felt such a blur of emotions that it was hard to pick which one to go with. Frustration. Anger. Anguish. I sure didn't feel like an author, that's for certain. I felt like a failure and a time waster. Time - it's not something I can take for granted when it is so often stolen from me in days of darkness.
In hopes of raising my spirit before I turned off the computer for the night, er morning, I decided to visit some blogs kept by authors I admire. When I came across Chelsea Fine's newest post, "Float Wisely: Writer's Block and other nonsense", I let out a sigh of relief and the single tear that had been holding firmly in place. Chelsea gave great advice, in her usual humorous form that I adore, and told writers to WRITE. No matter what it is you're writing, even a document filled with frustrations about what is going wrong in your writing (yep, and she shares her own personal file in the post too), at least you're writing...and thinking.
Just keep writing, that's all it comes down to. Not everything I write will make my final edit and that is OKAY. I didn't erase what I had written, I never do actually. I have a file for all of the 'wrong' words. They may have a place someday. A deleted scene, an exclusive blog extra, or just something I read to myself to remember what happened in the lives of my characters while we weren't looking.
So for now, I'm the little engine that WILL. Not can or could or well, maybe someday might try. I'm writing, even if they are the wrong words.
